Because property is theft
March fourth! (I told this to my coworkers and none of them appreciated my sense of humor)
I know he meant well
But her aim keeps getting better.
He Never Lands! I like this joke because it never grows old 🙂
A rip off
24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
But, baby, it’s cold outside!
An NSFW tag
Did you know that Gandhi used to have hot young women sleep naked in his bed with him? The idea was that he could conquer his baser desires and prove his self-control by abstaining from sex with them. I tried a similar thing by leaving half a box of Double Stuff Oreos on my counter, and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m pretty sure Gandhi banged every single one of those chicks.
A father in law
Because of their antybodies
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Because of all the coffin.
You should go to Daenerys exit.
It was very time consuming, especially when i went back for seconds
I said “son, what is A for?” “Apple!” “That’s right! What is B for?” “Banana!” That’s right! What is C for?” “Explosive!”
They're standing at the elephant exhibit when the boy asks his mom: What's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Mom: That's it's trunk. Boy: No, further back. Mom: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Mom: Oh, that's nothing. Now run along. The boy is still curious so he walks over to his dad. Boy: Dad, what's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Dad: That's its trunk. Boy: No, further back. Dad: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Dad: That's its penis. Boy: Oh, but Mom said it was nothing. Dad: Well, son, you have to realize that your mom is a little spoiled.
They’re soft drinks.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
It's my new year's resolution.
"404" sounds pretty fucking high!
Just for shits and giggles
It’s a small scale operation.
After we broke up, she went fucking bananas.
Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best . P.S.A – Do recycle ♻
They did unspeakable things to me
I’m 22 to say it.
1Forrest1 Edit: Thanks for the Silver Award
Girl: Hehe sure baby Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself
me: Herbert pregnant wife: but what if it’s a b- me: Himbert