A Chinese man enters a Jew’s lingerie store…
-I want 20 black bras size 85 D.
-Of course, but black is rare color, so their price is 15$ for each one.
-It does not matter,
said the Chinese,
He took the purchase and left. After a week the Chinese returns again.
-I want 30 black bras size 85 D.
-Yes, of course,
said the Jew,
-but it's so hard to get them, so now their price jumped to $25 for each one.
-It does not matter, I'll pay.
said the Chinese, paying for the purchase.
A week later, he comes again to the Store Jew.
-I want 100 black bras size 85 D!
-Yes, but their price has jumped a lot,
the Jew said,
-it is extremely difficult to deliver them; Now they are 55$ for each one,
-It does not matter, I'll pay,
replied the Chinese.
As the jew packed the order, angry with curiosity, he asked:
-Excuse me, but can you tell me what do you do with so many bras?
-I cut them in the middle and sell as Jewish caps for 200$.
But I don’t have enough karma
They were truly a ground breaking invention.
It was an autobiography…
He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens. For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens on them. After a few decades of this, my grandfather had amassed several dozen neckties, each one with cartoonish images of chickens flying around, laying eggs, and doing other chicken things. I always complimented him on the newest addition to his collection. When he died a couple of years ago, he bequeathed them to me in his will. When my grandmother handed me the bag full of them, my eyes welled with tears and I smiled thinking about my grandfather looking in the mirror and straightening his tie. Why am I telling you all of this back story? Because the last time I tried to tell this to someone and I didn't give context, they thought it was weird that I was so excited about inheriting my dead grandfather's hen tie collection.
…that's the a last time I use 1-ply toilet paper
The cornea the better
He is so happy with his job and he works very hard all day and all night. He impresses his manager and he soon gets promoted to supervisor. As supervisor, he does a great job keeping watch over the employees and is a great leader. After six months, he has done such a good job he gets promoted to manager. When the man is manager, he remodels the juice store and always makes sure he is the last one to leave the store every night. He is very hard-working and always wears a smile. One day, he catches the attention of the company president, who quickly promotes him to the company Vice President. The man is stunned and continues to demonstrate his work ethic everyday. Two months later, the company president passes away and the man is suddenly promoted to the company president. Years later, the man sits in his chair on the top floor of his company building, overlooking all of his hard work. In the distance, he sees all of his juice stores, each one with a long line out the door. He sees the orange juice line, the grape juice line, the lemonade line, but something was wrong. The man suddenly realized his big mistake. There was no punch line.
While trying to avoid hitting a dog, I lost control of my car and landed in a ditch by the side of road. With some difficulty, as I crawled out of the ditch, a beautiful woman who had stopped her car and came to help me asked "Are you okay?" "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up. She said, “Come, get in my car. I’ll take you to my place that is only few blocks away. You can clean up, and then I will examine to confirm that you are not hurt.” "That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!" "Oh, come on, I’m a Doctor," she insisted. "We need to see if you have any scrapes and treat them properly." Well, she was really pretty and very kind. I could not say no, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this." We arrived at her place and after cleaning up, she examining me to confirm that I do not have any major injury and then offered a drink. We had couple of drinks, but all along I was feeling guilty and finally told her, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now." "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. I suppose, she must be at home, right?" "Well, not really. She must be still in the ditch."
I said "Don't forget your Baghdad"
I ate, I ate and got sick on the floor.
The horse, not able to understand human language, shits on the floor and leaves
It's the first time I've ever had a father figure
Yesterday, I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me with the primary doctor at her hospital. So from now on, I’ll be giving her an apple for lunch everyday. That oughta do the trick.
I thought, there is no way they're going to fit in a bowl of soup…
… I guess you can call me Dav now."
Name under sign: N. Vitamin
I know, because I kept a log.
Someone is gonna die, I can feel it.
It has a nice ring to it
I told her I already Reddit.
That they're politicool… Im biased but i think its genius
1, 2…get down
The other guy is fine with it.
Its ok it was a wookie mistake
Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed? I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.
Instant karma. Saluting this Judge who threw a drunk driver’s mom in jail for laughing at victim’s family in court