a Country Boy visited the City and met a girl in a Bar who invited him back to her house,
When they got there, she undressed and told him to get naked too.
She said: "Let's start with a 69"
The Country Boy replied: "What's that?"
With that she got him into position, and they went at it
Within a minute of starting, the City Girl felt a fart coming on
She tried holding it back, but she figured the Country Boy was probably enjoying what she was doing to him and just let it rip
Less than a Minute later, she felt another one coming on and since he hadn't said anything, let this one out as well
After that, the Country Boy pushed her off, got up, and started getting dressed
The City Girl, embarrassed, asked "I guess you didn't like that, huh?"
The Country Boy said: "No, it was fine, but I just don't think I could take 67 more of those"
"That's not how field sobriety tests work." replied the police officer
The Ark hives.
A white horse fell in the mud
Look, no hands!
Bartender to the the Texan: That will be $5 Bartender to the Mexican: That will be $3 The Texan, upset, asks why the same beer cost less for the Mexican The Bartender replies, "Señor Discount"
One girl says “the sky is definitely blue” that is wrong One boy says “the leaves are definitely green” that is wrong One boy asks “are farts lumpy?” The teacher says no, He says “then I definitely shit my pants”
But then it grew on me.
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What if like a ladybug got all dusty and stopped flying and became a Potatoe bug?
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
It’s called Aye Caroomba.
I thought that's a weird way to start a conversation
I don’t know why
Add spring water.
It's only March 28th here, but in England it feels like it's the end of May.
and a woman asks him if she can say a word. He says okay and she stands up, saying ‘Plethora’. The man replies, ‘Thanks, that means a lot’.
Because it’s cheaper…
Three samurais are sitting around a camp fire when suddenly, one boasts. "I am the world's best swordsman!" – he stands up, whips out his sword and cut a fly in half. The second samurai says,"No, I'm the best." and he sees a fly -his sword flashes twice- then the fly falls into 4 pieces. The third samurai, wanting to prove them both wrong says "Hold my sake.". He stands, slashes at a fly… and the fly continued flying. The first two samurais erupted into laughter – but the third explains "That poor fly, he can never have sex again!"
"Well, I've only got my shelf to blame"
A receding hareline.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
By using remorse code.
I don’t think I can look at her in the same light ever again.
it was two-tired
I nailed it.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman Police Officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blondes driver's licence. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The Police woman said "It's square and has your picture on it" The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the Police woman. "Here it is" she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying "Okay, you're free to go, I didn't realize you were a cop"
It can write other words too.
I could do it with my eyes closed
Melt them down, make a tyre and call it a good year.
The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.