A doctor found 27 contact lenses in a women’s eye
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bread.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Outlaws are wanted.
"Usually to avoid answering questions like these," I replied.
That's the last thing I need.
They're all stereo types.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
It's a Sikh wall.
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Because he never had to run for his office
But it's okay because I can stop whenever I want
Waiter: No I said will you be dining alone? Me: Oh
Between you and me, something smells.
They're standing at the elephant exhibit when the boy asks his mom: What's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Mom: That's it's trunk. Boy: No, further back. Mom: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Mom: Oh, that's nothing. Now run along. The boy is still curious so he walks over to his dad. Boy: Dad, what's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Dad: That's its trunk. Boy: No, further back. Dad: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Dad: That's its penis. Boy: Oh, but Mom said it was nothing. Dad: Well, son, you have to realize that your mom is a little spoiled.
That way it will never come for me
Or do you have to spread them apart?
He was really good at spiking the ball!
Now I just have beer
One Saturday night, he hears a knock on the door. He answers to see a young man, who says, "Hi I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?" The father nods and calls her down. After a while he hears another knock on the door. The young man says, "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show. Is she ready to go?" The father nods and calls his daughter. After a while he hears another knock on the door. The young man says, "Hi I'm Chuck…" The father punches him in the face.
Hearing it twice. What's funnier than hearing a joke once? Hearing it twice.
“Just twelve waters please!” Winks at disciples
She's my Seoul mate
And conversely, you should never scissor with the runs.
When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise! The official laughed and let the old man through. The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official found the bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The sonofabitch! I will put him on display in my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from coming home. The official laughed and let him through. When he arrived at his family's house in Jerusalem, his grandson saw him unpack the bust. Grandson: Who is that? Old man: Who is that? Who is that?! Don't say "Who is that?" say "What is that?" That, my child, is eight pounds of gold!
Kid: Why are you doing that? Dad: So you don't get bored there.
You won't make any real money.
Him : I’m a programmer Her : Never mindProgrammersNeverSleep
I havent seen him since 2005