A farmer has 3 bulls and 200 cows
One of the bulls is large and has 100 cows to himself. The second bull is medium sized and has 70 cows. The third bull is small and has 30 cows.
One day the farmer gets another bull.
The large bull says, “I don’t care how big he is, he’s not getting a single one of my cows.” The medium bull says, “Same here, those are my cows.” The small bull agrees saying, “I’ll fight if I have to, but he’s not taking my cows.”
The new bull is brought to the farm. The trailer is shaking, and the door bursts open. One of the farmhands is launched backwards, and massive bull comes out of the trailer.
The large bull says, “Forget it, he can have my cows.” The medium bull, quivering by now, says, “No way can I stop him. I guess he can have my cows, too.” They look to the small bull to see him raring up for a fight. “What the hell are you doing?! You can’t hope to take him,” they scream to the small bull.
The small bull calmly replies, “I’m trying to make sure he knows I’m not a cow.”
But the spoilers ruined it for me.
Tuna half minutes!
Then why did the plane crash?
Can someone explain to me why tf there’s a patent for the coronavirus?
all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally, he was brought to an old physician. After about an hour’s examination he came out and told the cardinals that he had some good news and some bad news. The bad news was that the Pope had a rare disorder of the testicles. The good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally, they went to the Pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the Pope stated, “I agree, but under four conditions.” The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over the noise a single voice asked, “And what are the four conditions?” The room stilled. There was a long pause. The Pope replied, “First, the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see who she is having sex with. Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear who she is having sex with. And third, she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out who she is having sex with, she can tell no one.” After another long pause a voice arose and asked, “And the fourth condition?” The Pope replied, “Big tits.”
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
They come with that Elon Musk.
So when they come into port, they can scan-da-navy-in
So an honest lawyer, a hard working politician and Santa are walking and they find a 100€ note on the ground. Who is going to pick it up? Santa because the first two don't exist.
From the second HAND shop
and not a pop quiz?
She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!" The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.
Well actually it's more of a wrap.
There's a joke somewhere in there, but I can't quite find it.
Because a cold never bothered her anyway. My youngest son thought of this all by himself…he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.
So i packed my stuff and right.
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour and got a tattoo. But it wouldn’t wash off this morning, so I went back to complain. But the tattoo parlour wasn’t there.
and Saint Peter stops them at the Golden Gates. He tells them, "Depending how faithful you were to your wife, depends what kind of car you drive across the Golden Bridge to heaven." First guy says, "I was married 10 years and only cheated three times." Saint Peter says, "That's ok I suppose, here take this older model pick-up truck." Second guy says, "I was married 15 years and only cheated once!" Saint Peter says, "Pretty great, here take this sports car." Third guy says, "I was married 40 years and never cheated on my wife." Saint Peter says, "Wow that's the best I've ever heard! Here, take this Golden Edition Rolls-Royce." The three guys start across the bridge and the Rolls takes off and leaves them. About half way across, the other two guys find the Rolls pulled over with his head on the steering wheel. They stop and walk over. First guy says, "Come on man, being dead isn't so bad." Second guy says, "Yeah, look what you're driving, and look what we're driving." Third guy says, "No guys, you don't get it, I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard!"
She’d be my daughter🥰
But then it grew on me
Because he was genetically engine-eared.
They believe it is the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher
They were Prime mates.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure, how much is that? Bartender: $3. Me: There you go. So what’s the WiFi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase. EDIT: format
We'd have IX/XI instead.
He doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation.
Dad: Gotcha, gonnabesuperpissed.
It's not like it's the end of the world
… and these four huge bastards started mouthing off at us. My mate said "pretend we're the police, that'll get them to leave us alone". I only got halfway through the first verse of "Roxanne" before they kicked the shit out of us.
He said he wouldn’t do it. Cause it would take a cent-ury.
It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe
Because he needed 3² meals a day.
As they walk in the Scotsman proclaims loudly for all to hear “Drinks for the house, on me!” The next day in the newspaper the headlines reads ‘Irish ventriloquist found beaten to death”
You might be dyslexic
I have a father figure
After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot ' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'. An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone. When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'.
Outlaws are wanted