A Labour politician, a BBC TV reporter and a British SAS soldier were captured by ISIS…

They were, as usual, sentenced to death by beheading.

Unexpectedly, the ISIS leader said they could have one last request before their sentence was carried out…

The Labour politician asked to hear a rendering of "Keep the Red Flag Flying Here".

The BBC TV reporter asked that the beheading be television so that even when she was dead, her face was still on TV.

The British SAS soldier asked to be kicked three times in the arse hard.

As the SAS soldiers request was unusual, ISIS decided to carry his request out first.

As the kick landed, the SAS soldier pulled a hidden 9mm Glock pistol out of his smock, shot three terrorists dead.

He then grabbed one of the fallen terrorists AK47s and shot dead the rest of the terrorists.

The other two prisoners were amazed, and asked why he requested to be kicked three times before he drew his weapon.

"Because" said the soldier "When we get back to the UK. I don't want you fucking pair of politically correct clowns saying it was an "unprovoked attack"..