Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
Because you can't C in the Dark.
I'd have to change my name
A hockey player showers after three periods.
that's the spirit.
She said no, she thinks I'm just after my money.
It's called Crystal Meh.
How did the duck fail to rob a bank? It couldn't quack the safe!
I made several discoveries
"We have your son," said the kidnapper. "I don't have a son," says the woman. "Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crust off his sandwiches?" "Oh, God you have my husband!"
I can’t wait to see them all
A homo sectional
A saw a man with the hood on his coat jumping up and down. People were going crazy, throwing money at it. I asked him if he makes a living like that, he said, "Yes, it's my livelihood."
Fly: "Hmmm. Whoever that was must be pretty small to fit on my back" "Hey! What are you? A mite? " Mite: " Yeah, as in I MIGHT have just bit you hahaha!" Fly: "That's the worst pun I've ever heard." Mite: "What can I say, I came up with it on the fly."
He said he wouldn’t do it. Cause it would take a cent-ury.
…it made a bolt for the door.
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
Got a new job at Gatwick Airport. I patrol the runways on a horse and shoot down any illegal flying devices in the area.
I'll be known as The Drone Ranger.
Because downvotes are very offensive.
My thoughts are with his family.
My buddy Brian does it for me.
No One was shocked
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.