A man goes into his garden and notes a broken fence.
He thus searches online for someone to fix his fence for him, but he is not satisfied with their prices – that is, until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.
He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing; but since it’s free, he feels like he has nothing to lose, so he hires him.
Sure enough, a few days later, the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand. The man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.
About an hour later, the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished; and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can’t just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free, he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.
The man then starts talking to the monk.
“It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair,” noted the man. “Why do you do it?”
The monk replied, “Religious reasons.”
The man then says, “I don’t know much about Buddhism. Why do you need to repair fences?”
“Because,” the monk replied, “you would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting.”
Me: I wish I was a star. Gen⭐e: We⭐rd but okay.
I call it "Letter Rip."
As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?"
They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles.
It’s a small scale operation.
The kids will never play Monopoly with us again.
She said, "No thanks, there's already an asshole in there."
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It must have been something I said
In the bathtub, I always play Atlantis with my belly. But it just doesn't want to go down.
She hugged me
Because there's a new issue with you every fucking day.
19 and easily spread.
and I've already got a friend in me.
Edit: Thanks for the gold!
Don't worry, he's 0K
they just finished a 31 day March.
just give them a fridge, and watch their face light up as they open it.
"A man who lays with another man should be stoned." [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”
I don’t remember the rest.
He went ice skating before it was cool
This proves I'm independent.
I guess I shouldn’t drink Mr. Pb again
it’s the women that make it hard
…you've waisted thyme.
The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded. The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said “Now, I can die.” The BBC Reporter said, "I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The ISIS leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, "Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.” The ISIS leader turned to the Israeli commando and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?” “Kick me in the butt ,” said the soldier. “What?" asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?” “No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt ,” insisted the Israeli. So the terrorist leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the behind. The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt first?” “What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?
Then I said 'Geez you got a big pussy! Geez you got a big pussy!' She said 'why did you say it twice?' and I said 'I didn't'".
He’s a good buoy
But then I saw her face…
Her name was Wendy and i had it done when I was hard and now you can only see W and Y when soft. One day I was on holiday in Jamaica, using the restroom I noticed a Jamaican man with the same WY tattoo. I asked if he had Wendy tattooed on his penis aswell. He replied: "nah bro it says, Welcome to Jamaica and have a nice day"