A mexican woman walks into a car dealership and starts looking at a car. A salesman asks if she needs any help or got any questions.
Her: Cargo space?
Salesman: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Apparently the bar wasn’t set high enough.
But that’s a whisk I’m willing to take
That makes two of us.
I’m planning to get down with the kids.
They all laughed at me and told me she is isn't real. Well Jokes on them because neither are they
Doctor: “I’m afraid you’ve got an umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye”
Because it's a contact sport.
One of the bulls is large and has 100 cows to himself. The second bull is medium sized and has 70 cows. The third bull is small and has 30 cows. One day the farmer gets another bull. The large bull says, “I don’t care how big he is, he’s not getting a single one of my cows.” The medium bull says, “Same here, those are my cows.” The small bull agrees saying, “I’ll fight if I have to, but he’s not taking my cows.” The new bull is brought to the farm. The trailer is shaking, and the door bursts open. One of the farmhands is launched backwards, and massive bull comes out of the trailer. The large bull says, “Forget it, he can have my cows.” The medium bull, quivering by now, says, “No way can I stop him. I guess he can have my cows, too.” They look to the small bull to see him raring up for a fight. “What the hell are you doing?! You can’t hope to take him,” they scream to the small bull. The small bull calmly replies, “I’m trying to make sure he knows I’m not a cow.”
I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.
My mum used to tell me fairy stories with a happy ending. Just one of the benefits of having a masseuse as a parent I guess.
But that’s just my two scents.
And it’s discussing fucking.
I was out with my young daughter and ran into a friend I’d not seen in years. “This is Beth.” I said, introducing my kid. “And what’s Beth short for?” he asked.
"Because she's only three." I answered.
With little Caesars (Seezors)
only a fraction of people will get this joke
In little knotsies
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
50 cent featuring Nickelback
It always gives me butterflies.
I said maybe.
Icy dead people
It’s the last time I’ll sleep on the train with my mouth open.
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Nobody thought it was funny.