A priest, a nun, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a Type-O"
In case they have to draw blood.
Serve laxatives at a party and everybody loses their shit
It’s a dream job
An Englishman, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer.
The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded: "Yes" "Oui" "Sì" "Ja"
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
because of my insecurities. Wait, she's back. Just went out to pick the mail.
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence
she just drinks straight out of the bottle.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
True story: today at work, I was getting ready to discharge a patient from the recovery room after surgery, and I asked “how do you feel?” Without hesitation he replied “with my fingers” and the old guy in the next bay chuckled and yelled “good one!”
He said I have a weekend immune system.
She was a mathemachicken.
I told my son people keep accidentally pleading for me to purchase meat for them. He asked, “By mistake?”
I shouted, “Oh come on! Not you too!”
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!
I hate working at the McDonald's factory…
Well the jokes on them – they’re imaginary too…
Imagine how surprised he must have been.
My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be in August!” I said, “Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers…
It’s now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she still won’t say where she got them…
They were prime-mates
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said “It’s going to rain”. His wife asked “how do you know?”
"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
My dad didn't beat cancer
They’ll be so disappointed when the finale is not a cliffhanger…
"Hello yes my Wife is going into labour!" "Is this her first child?" "No this is her husband"
It's ridiculous and unfair. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.
Because he was in the middle of 9 11
I thought to myself “I can’t turn that down!”
Nothing… They fast!
but none of them work.
Oscillating ones cool the room much better.
It just goes all-right all-right all-right