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Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.
While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.
He says “uno, dos…” poof. He disappeared without a tres.
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary.
The three men had always done everything together!!!!! Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.” The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gary in to identify the body. Gary looked at the body and said, “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gary said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.” The mortician asked, “How can you tell?” Gary said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes.” “What? He had two assholes?” asked the mortician. Yup, I’ve never seen ‘em, but everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two assholes!”
It couldn't handle the bars.
He said Dad why don’t you use a sponge like the other dads?
She freaked out and shouted "What?!!! Why??!!!" I told her: "I would rather have a doctor do that"
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater!
Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
I'm on season 6 so far, but not sure what its got to do with security.
It's not a long poem, but it's deep.
It wasn't my turn to watch him, and to be frank, if you didn't want to lose him you should have used bigger nails.
I'd give it 1 star
Good condition, only driven from time to time
The doctor putting two hands on your shoulders during a prostate exam.
Did you know that if you rest one of your testicles on the top of an empty beer bottle, and hold a flame near the base of the bottle your testicle will be sucked into the bottle?
If you did know this, and know how to get the testicle out again, please message me. URGENTLY!
A lady had lost her husband almost two years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!" Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain. Their first night there, she undressed and so did he. There she stood naked, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" She replied "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning." He knew he was not going to get lucky that night. The following night was the same, she stood there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?" He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
Because plants have less stygma to stamen.
Police: “Open the door!” – Man: “I don’t want any balls!” – Police: “What? We don’t have balls!” – Man: “I know.”
I saw it with my own eyes
An ambulance you racist!!
HE: There's a spider in your bra.
Because no one can spot him
you might be dyslexic
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the wind shield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was just an insect." To which her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."