A vegan said to me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!”
I said, "People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer!"
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
A mexican woman walks into a car dealership and starts looking at a car. A salesman asks if she needs any help or got any questions.
Her: Cargo space? Salesman: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth
Unlock the punchline for $9.99.
I said, “Remember, it’s also son day.”
No it doesn't
Cop: You are the lawyer. Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present?
A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" She replied "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning." He knew he was not going to get lucky that night. The following night was the same, she stood there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?" He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
I'm not ever buying any more baby oil.
"Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"
It's more difficult to deter gents though
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got F**ed to achieve it.
But I've never had any beef with them.
His exact words were, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”
Apparently you needed to be a complete dick.
Me: "No thanks, I'm not much of an athlete. Is it okay if I just pay with my card?"
Just got back home and they are still here…
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance…
Comes great response ability.