A woman got hit in the head by a horse.
Don’t worry, she’s in stable condition.
So I told her she's pretty enough.
Because it is capsized.
Stop school shootings
but none of them work
Because Dawn is tough on Greece.
You can hear a pin drop, after all.
She couldn’t see that well
It is LAYHEEHOO
A time traveller walks into a bar.
A crusty old man walks into the local Lutheran Church and says to the secretary, “I would like to join this damn church.”
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." And with that said, the secretary leaves her desk and walks into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money." "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
Oh well, hindsight is 1.
and it hertz alot.
It's not stroganoff
Most things escape baby goats.
I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
He asks his friend how he does it. The friend whispers, "I'll tell you, but keep it a secret." The teenage boy excitedly agrees. "All you have to do is, before you go to the beach, put a big potato down in your bathing suit. The girls will swarm you in no time." The teenage boy does as instructed, but instead, the girls see him, scream and run away. "What did I do wrong?" the teenage boy asks his friend. The friend looks him over and shakes his head. "Christ, man. You're supposed to put it down the FRONT."
My recliner and I go way back.
"In these troubled times, the steaks have never been higher."
Yesterday one of my good friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.
I just saw the trailer.
Same middle name.
They don’t believe in a higher power.
Because 8 years of child support is better than 18.
They're really making headlines!
Fly: "Hmmm. Whoever that was must be pretty small to fit on my back" "Hey! What are you? A mite? " Mite: " Yeah, as in I MIGHT have just bit you hahaha!" Fly: "That's the worst pun I've ever heard." Mite: "What can I say, I came up with it on the fly."
So I got all of his old Beyblades out the attic.