But it’s definitely up there.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy, he's a web designer
I never knew my real ladder.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia
It already has thousands of degrees.
Lots O' Matzoh Spin the Ladle Latkes of Love And for vegans: Soy Vey!
It was the least I could do for the guy.
Now I’m clean
It really means a lot to them.
He laughs at them sometimes
No,actually it is adopted. My wife and I were unable to conceive a dog naturally.
Because you can’t C in the dark
It saves time on laundry, since a lot of the time they hang themselves.
The second time was a big let down!!!
ME: I can’t afford that PIZZA GUY: Well you’ll have to pay some other way. ME: [takes out wallet] Wait I forgot I had 30 dollars. PORN DIRECTOR: Cut! The fuck are you doing?
You have my word.
The bartender says “Sir, if you wanna punch, you gotta get in line.” The guy looks around but there is no punch line
It's so chewed up that we can't tell if it's 2b or not 2b.
How dense the population is How dense the population is
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them
Spread the news
I don't know, I just like meth and feta memes.
For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow. It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind. Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl. As we passed, they all said in unison, "You may now kiss the bride!" My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned. As we walked away I asked, "Why did they tell us to kiss and not the priest?" My wife answered, "In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!"