AMD employee FIGHTS INTEL and AMD employees infront of FANBOYS!
A lumberjack goes into a forest to chop down a tree…
…but he didn't know it was a magic forest. As he began to chop down a tree, the tree said "Wait I am a talking tree". The lumberjack said "And you will dialogue".
A locksmith had to testify in court recently
He was the key witness
People tend to get shocked…
When they find out I'm a really bad electrician.
What’s the most sarcastic body of water on earth?
The Crimea River.
If your Tesla gets stolen,
is it called an Edison now?
For Halloween, a classmate dressed up as a stormtrooper and shot up the school.
Don’t worry, no one got hurt.
How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?
None they just beat the room for being black
Two lawyers walk into a pub
They order a couple of drinks and take subs out of their brief cases. They begin to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican exclaims, " Excuse me but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!" The two look at each other, shrug, then exchange sandwiches.
![[Legit] Secrets](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/mh7nt9o61bo11-400x262.jpg)
How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms?
The scientific experiments altered his jeans
Did you know autocorrect was invented by an atheist?
He's going to he'll.
What do u call a tower of pizza boxes?
The leaning tower of pisa
My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer
Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.
A man with 5 legs put on pants
They fit like a glove
Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships when returning to port?
So they can Scan da Navy in
WHAT DO WE WANT??! RACE CAR NOISES!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?!!
Neeeeeeooooooowwwwww
My body is nicely defined.
If you look up the word "flabby".
I don’t trust elevators anymore.
They are always either up to something or letting you down.
They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic.
But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely.
What has four legs but can’t walk?
A table!
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night….
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea
Told this Chemistry joke before on here…
… But I got a very bad reaction
I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices.
He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.
How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They'll just beat the room for being black.
Tell a man a joke he will laugh for a day
Tell a redditor a joke he will post it for a lifetime
How does a lumberjack know how many trees he’s cut down?
He keeps a log.
Because I’m British I can say that I smoked a fag and it wouldn’t be offensive
Regardless, I'm told his family cried heaps at the funeral.
What do you call a lazy Kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Today I saw dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall.
I thought to myself "Now, that's a little condescending".
I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
A voice at the back of my head keeps telling me…
..that the doctors really screwed up my mouth surgery.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. But why did 7 eat 9?
It heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day.
Wise old saying
Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
Trump’s gonna build the wall out of…
Hillary's emails. Nobody can get over those fuckin' things apparently
What advice was given to a depressed car?
You have no more energy left to live, you just need try to fuel yourself.