An old man sought out a doctor for a sperm count…

The doctor gave him a sample pot and said:

"Take this and bring it back tomorrow with a sperm sample."

The following day, the old man returned and gave the pot back to the doctor. It was empty as the day before. Confused, the doctor asked what happened. The old man explained:

"You see, doc, this is how it went: first, I tried with my right hand and nothing. Then, I tried with my left hand, still nothing. So I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with her left one, but nothing. Next she tried with her mouth – first with her teeth, then without them, and nothing. We even called our neighbor and she also tried. First with both hands, then with her armpit and lastly, squeezing it between her knees, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked:

"You asked your neighbor for help?!"

"Yes, doc. But neither of us could open the damn pot."