And half of them think they’re playing Jeopardy for some reason….
Appartently, she's sensitive about her miscarriage
He asked me, what’s Beth short for? I thought it was really rude, she’s only three
This sub was and still is for boomer comics, things that boomers find funny, or straight up boomer garbage. I’ve noticed that many people are posting memes about boomer humor, which isn’t what this sub is for. Thank you
You can unscrew a lightbulb
The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
Why? Because everything here is recycled. To everyone on r/Jokes, thank you so much for doing your part in saving the environment!
Because they single file to hide their numbers.
I have an uncle, once removed.
they called it a day
When the barman serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it. As he's enjoying his drink, a nun walks by, and glares at him sourly. "How can you pollute your soul with the Devil's drink like that?" she asks. The man shrugs. "It's not the Devil, it's just whiskey." "But it's sinful and wicked!" "How do you know it's so bad, then? Have you ever tasted whiskey?" "Of course not! My sisters and mother superior told me how evil drink is." "But how do they know? Have they ever had a drink?" They go back and forth like this for a while, before at last, the nun relents. "Well, I suppose that if I were to try a sip of whiskey, I would better understand how it corrupts the soul. But it wouldn't do for any of my sisters to come by here and see me drinking. Could you order me one in a teacup?" The man agrees this is fair, and walks inside to the barman. "Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please." The barman slams his hand down on the bar and shouts, "Is that damn nun here again!?"
The water. Butane is lighter fluid.
Because otherwise, it’s FUCKING RAW!!!
Makes you wonder about the Dickinsons…
I'm a faux pa.
He must have realised that marriage counted as a union
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
The mother smiles a replies: "Once upon a time, me and your daddy had a wonderful time so we decided to plant a little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took very good care of it every single day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, the seed turned into a beautiful and healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and then we got so high that we fucked without a condom."
No guy has ever gotten kicked in the nuts, and then a couple years later says, “You know, I’d like another one.”
Schwepped her off her feet…
Which makes me an eighth theist.
It's not me, iReddit somewhere.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
I almost choked on my own cock