And topped with oppression.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors, or art students calling themselves unemployed.
It's your count who votes!
In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.
One goes WHACK! then “uh oh” and the other goes “uh oh” then WHACK!
But on the other hand im fine
It refuses to focus.
The remaining 2 jumped out of the way.
I’m about to start a religious movement.
Cause truants don't go to school! (I came up with this right now)
Your pupils, they dilate.
Po: Sir im gonna have to write a ticket but i will give you a chance by answering a trivia question. Guy: Lets do this Po: There are two headlights coming from the end of the street. What is it? Guy: Its a car!! Po: Sure but is it a kia, is it a mazda? That was wrong but ill give you one more chance. There is one headlight coming down the street. What is it. Guy: Its a motorbike !!! Po: Sure but is it bmw , is it suzuki? Sorry man im gonna have to proceed with the ticket Guy: Hey give me one last chance. Ill ask you an easy trivia question and if you get it right go ahead and finish the ticket Po: Ok go Guy: Theres a lady at the corner of the street very late at night. She is wearing a mini skirt and a very tight blouse while waving and talking to men in cars. What is she? Po: She is a whore dude… Guy: Sure but is it your wife, is it your sister?
Saw a couple today talking to their husky. Intelligent dog, don't get me wrong, but do they seriously think he understands everything he is told? I came home and told my cat all about it, we laughed our asses off!
Such a nice jester.
especially when it's on cruise control
Apparently not 17, cuz my basement is still dark
They buzz them in.
I guess you could say I've hit rock bottom…
Let's all just stick to inside jokes for now.
Ive got some big shoes to fill.
"I’ve just had sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before marriage, my boyfriend will die!" I put down my paper: ‘Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.’ ”
… and the cashier said, "Whoa, are you going to put that up yourself?" I said, "No, you sicko, I'm putting it in my living room!"
I just think he's mean
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts costs $2.15.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French…
He was attacked by a giant crab
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
I refuse to go that level
You can’t see in the dark
Stupid bastard started dancing around the shop.
It's on the house