Anything else would have worked fine.
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me
it means a lot.
A man’s wife accuses him of “testiculating”
"What the hell is testiculating?" the man asks. Looking both irritated and impatient, his wife responds, "It's when a man is talking bollocks!" The man considers this for a moment. "Tell me something," he finally says. "Are you on your period?" "Yes," his wife answers. "Why?" The man nods. "I thought so. You're ovaryacting."
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school yesterday?
He is fine. He woke up
I finally told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts
He said I have to start paying in advance
God is walking through the Garden of Eden one morning, when he sees Adam sitting by himself, grinning from ear to ear.
God says to Adam, "you're looking very happy this morning! Has something good happened?" "Oh yes" Adam replies. "This morning we found out why I have a penis and Eve has a vagina! It was awesome. We're going to call it 'sex'!" God is shocked. "Adam, what you have done is a sin! You and Eve must both be punished." He looks around. "Where is Eve anyway?" Adam replies "well, she enjoyed it so much she wants to do it again. She's down by the river washing her vagina." "Oh, great" God replies. "Now, on top of everything else, all the fish will smell funny too!"
PETA is like a box of chocolates
They kill dogs
I saw an advert that read “Radio for sale, $1.00, volume stuck of full”
I thought, "I can't turn that down"
Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests
Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
![[OC] riddled with bugs](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/sjs3htmk7ob41-400x446.jpg)
My Uncle used to say: “when one door closes, another opens”
He was a decent philosopher, but a lousy cabinet maker.
Why was F jealous of C?
Because it was hotter
Two cows standing in a field, one says to the other “you worried about that mad cow disease?”
The other cow says "no I'm a penguin"
Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start.
The Mechanical engineer says: – "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says: – "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says: – "Impurities in the Gasoline" The IT engineer says: – "Hey guys, i have an idea how about we all get out of the car and get back in".
Bro you want this pamphlet?
Brochure
ANNOUNCEMENT: r/boomershumor cleanup and return to the golden era
This sub has gone from great to bad in just months. The majority of the top posts were rule-breaking reposts from r/terriblefacebookmemes and r/wholesomememes. Many long-term members have been rightfully complaining.I am happy to announce that r/boomershumor will be returning to its roots: a place for shitty boomer comics.Here’s what that means:Rules will be enforced again and new mods will be recruited in the coming weeks.Old posts that broke the rules are being removed — a clean standard needs to be set for new members.Wholesome comics are not allowed.Meta threads and OC boomer comics are now officially allowed for the time being and have their own flair.Reminder of the rules and examples of what doesn’t belong:Rule 1: Baby boomer humor only. Terrible comics that younger people could find funny don’t belong here. Try r/ComedyCemetery.Rule 2: Must be comic styled. Example of what doesn’t belong. Shitty boomer memes can be posted to r/terriblefacebookmemes.Rule 3: No wholesome comics or sanity edits. Example. You can find wholesome comics on r/wholesomememes and sanity edits on various other subs.Additional Changes:Post flairs have been added. Please recommend additional flairs in the comments.Users flairs have been added. You can select your generation and out yourself as a boomer.When reporting posts, you can now select which rule. Thank you for taking the time to report.Please post any feedback, questions, comments, and complaints about your wife in the comments below.
Why does Mr. T drive a Tesla?
Because he pities the fuel.
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
Why can’t miss piggy count to 100?
Because when she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
My husband once bought me a dress two sizes too small to encourage me to lose weight so I could fit into it.
When he gave me the dress, he said that he was "looking forward to seeing you in it." So for his birthday, I bought him a coffin.
My girlfriend broke up with me.
So i stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back
Before my surgery my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
If cows don’t have Internet, how do they order things?
From a cattle log.
I was going to share a joke about planes.
But I do not think it will take off.
Wife: I haven’t seen you use the bathroom all week
Me: No shit. I'm constipated.
Going into my son’s room is the same as going to Ikea
You go in just to see what's new and come out with 10 plates 3 cups and a pair of socks.
A young man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The young man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again the young man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Next the frog yells, "Okay okay, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you FOREVER and do ANYTHING you want." Again the young man took the frog out, then he chuckled at it and put it back in his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you forever, and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The young man said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Do I often put an orange slice in my beer?
Not really. Maybe once in a blue moon.
To the man who stole my camouflage jacket in the wheelchair
You can hide but you can’t run
I am suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.
Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
