Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
I really need to keep an ion them.
"Shooting isn't your cup of tea," he continued, "You better switch to archery."
As a part of their job, executioners are not allowed to high five their victims before executing them.
It’s their job to leave them hanging.
Throw it in water. If it sinks, its a girl ant, otherwise its buoyant
He kept getting high C's
I mean, it's not very hard.
You can hide but you can't run.
Hearing aids! When do we want them! Hearing aids!
But after I dropped one we have to use a ball now.
Man she really wanted a daughter.
I was 16 minutes late for my first math lecture, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, I’ll never be there on time.
He got the axe after making a cutting remark about some dead wood.
He asks God, "How do you get a girl's number in Auschwitz? Roll up her sleeve." God doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "Eh. I guess you had to be there to understand".
Which is also known as avocado’s number
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
We really kicked the shit out of that guy.
Son: But Dad my name is Scott. How could I be named after him? Dad: He was named in 1706.
Just five more minutes.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
I'll let you know
I looked at it and said, “This isn’t for me.”
but with more iron.
The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"
The brunette tells them, "I found cigarettes in my daughter's room, I can't believe she smokes! " The red head said, "I know, I found some beer in my daughter's room. I couldn't believe it! " The blonde says "That's nothing! I found condoms in my daughter's room. I never knew she had a penis! "