As long as it runs..
and it hertz alot.
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter…
I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me. I thought to myself, “I really need a new fucking boat.”
So now we use lube
Because it was two tired.
You get 8 more!
…details are sketchy.
But I don't like living in the past.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.
I said, “Wait, I can change.”
Idk I’m the one who’s asking
She replied "At least we know it'll be quick"
Guess who came crawling back
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
I suck at gardening
Your underwear is incorrect, please try again. If you can’t remember your underwear, enter your email and we will send you recovery instructions. Your underwear is too small, it must have atleast three holes. Your underwear hint is “Am I wearing any?” Your new underwear cannot be your old underwear.
Because then it would be a foot
Dad: Son, what be a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Son: Arrrrby’s! Dad: Correct! And what be a pirate’s favorite animal? Son: Arrrrmadillo! Dad: Right again! But what be a pirate’s favorite body part? Son: Easy. The arrrrrm!
Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!
That's me in the corner.
Caveman discovers fire Stone age begins
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
They're standing at the elephant exhibit when the boy asks his mom: What's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Mom: That's it's trunk. Boy: No, further back. Mom: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Mom: Oh, that's nothing. Now run along. The boy is still curious so he walks over to his dad. Boy: Dad, what's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Dad: That's its trunk. Boy: No, further back. Dad: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Dad: That's its penis. Boy: Oh, but Mom said it was nothing. Dad: Well, son, you have to realize that your mom is a little spoiled.
She seemed surprised.
When we broke up she went fucking bananas
Remains to be seen.
A small arms dealer!
The doctor says it’s terminal