At the Doctor’s Office…
They're always up to something.
You get your palm red for free
In Spanish, you roll your R’s and in Dad Jokes you roll your Eyes
I honestly can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.
Because I only have one response and it's "boogie oogie oogie".
He started counting but soon fell asleep.
Because it’s made in China.
What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4
You probably read about him, he was in all the papers.
Man: About how much milk do you get from them in a day? Farmer: Which one, the brown one or the black one? Man: The brown one. Farmer: About a half gallon a day. Man: And the black one? Farmer: About a half gallon a day. Man (looking puzzled): Ok.. what do you feed them? Farmer: Which one? Man: The brown one. Farmer: She eats grass. Man: And the black one? Farmer: She eats grass, too. Man (becoming annoyed): Why do you keep asking me to specify which cow when the answers are the same? Farmer: Because the brown cow is mine. Man: Oh, and the black one? Farmer: It’s mine, too.
Because his whole life he's Ben Solo
The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, “Yes, I am.” The officer then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. The man answers, “Sure, hold on a second.” The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, “I’m sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train.” The man says, “I know, but she has a good personality.”
That came out of nowhere.
She seemed surprised.
They said that it was a fusion cuisine.
Because of all of the sand which is there.
it means a lot.
…I'm not sure what I'd do with the other $297,999,999.75 though.
At first I just wasn’t putting in enough shifts, then I couldn’t keep the space clean and finally I lost control
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said “It’s going to rain”. His wife asked “how do you know?”
"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
Then I realized battery not included
I’m gonna put my glasses on
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes…
"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
My Anesthesiologist said that if I didn’t want knockout gas he could hit me in the head with a paddle.
He wouldn't do both. It was ether/oar.
Acquaintance: Why the hell is he called Mayo? He’s not even white! Mayo: [neighs]
But does anyone know where the Minneapolis Edit: some of us don't spend our lives on r/jokes and as such don't realise things are reposts.
“Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?” “Rhino!”
"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn!"
… I guess you can call me Dav now."
Not what you're thinking
He called it a Yes Box.
…and orders everyone a round.