ATP SpongeBob meme. Made for r/asdfmemes
All Jews had their foreskins
[removed]
Here’s how to fall down stairs:
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 6 Step 10 Step 15 Step 19 Step 23 Step 35
I went for my interview to be a bus driver.
I said, "Sorry I'm late." They said, "You're hired"
I was in New Mexico and a cowboy asked me if I could help round up 18 cows.
I replied, "Yes of course, that'd be 20 cows."
My obese parrot died the other day
I’m very sad but I gotta say it’s a big weight off my shoulders
Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
Why is gum similar to guns?
If you take one out during class, everyone starts acting like your friend.
Next Summer I’m applying for a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I can see myself doing.
“Judge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets!”
Judge: Repeat infractions? Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!
I proposed to my ex-wife
But she said no. She believes I’m just after my money.
We have hit 20,000 members! Thank you all!
Firstly I’d like to thank each and every one of you who had joined this subreddit. This subreddit full of memes that I, myself, don’t even understand. 20000 people, that’s just… wow!It is an honour to serve this community and every single one of you members, new or old.Secondly I’d like to say how activity in this subreddit has been at an all time high, we are getting more posts than ever, of course that means more reposts, and posts that break other rules that our subreddit has, but on behalf of the moderation team, I’m here to assure you that we have you covered, we want to make sure you only get the highest quality posts when you look at r/sciencememes.I hope to see you again when we hit our next major milestone.If you ever need me, or any other of the moderation team feel free to use ModMail, if you see a post or comment breaking the rules, don’t be afraid to report them.🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But do you know what Cole’s Law is?
It's a side dish made from thinly sliced cabbage.
![Akira Yoshino, Nobel Prize in Chemistry (2019) [OC]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/uya1yhhoj9s31-400x400.jpg)
I’m just going to get some cigarettes
I’ll be right back
Joke
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
How did the cannabis propose?
Marriage you wanna?
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar…
The first asks for a pint of beer. The second asks for 1/2 of a pint of beer. The third asks for 1/4 of a pint of beer, etc. The bartender fills 2 pints of beer, and walks away.
Put a load in the dishwasher earlier
My wife prefers to call it intercourse
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because they'd be called bagels if they flew over the bay…
I wrote the names of everyone I’ve unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint.
Now he’s high on my list of people I never want to see again.
3 guys were sitting in a biker bar.
A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face. And said, “I went by your grandma’s house and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is fine!” The biker looked at him and didn’t say a word. His buddies were confused, because he was a bad ass and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again. And he said “I got it on with your grandma. And she is good. The best I ever had!” The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said,”I’ll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!” The biker stood up and took the drunk by the shoulder. And said, “Damn it, Grandpa, you’re drunk! Go home!”
My son asked “daddy, did you pick your nose when you were young?”
“no, son, I was born with it.”
Wife was cleaning 12 year old son’s bedroom
When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what do we do?" Husband says "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
