Australians dont reproduce
Guess who came crawling back to me.
I'm on season 6 so far, but not sure what its got to do with security.
I replied "Window or you'll what ?"
My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.
I told them that they can just call it pants.
My thoughts are with his family.
And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared. Must have ransomware.
A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. Barman, he says, "A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there." As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile. Surprisingly the Jew nods his head and sends a warm smile back. The Nazi is somewhat miffed, as this was not the reaction he expected. So he goes back to the bar "Barman, a second round for everyone but him, and this time take it all from the top shelf" Nazi looks again at the Jew, and notices that he is STILL smiling back, and even warmer than before "Is that Jew a complete fool or what?" he asks the barman. Bartender responds: "Oh no my generous friend, that gentleman is my boss and the owner of the bar"
Some lady got her nipple pierced. And I got banned from playing darts.
The experience has always been hit-or-miss for me.
Spynosawus. … I'll just see myself out
It was devastating. I didn't do much to deserve it
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
What if like a ladybug got all dusty and stopped flying and became a Potatoe bug?
So when they come into port, they can scan-da-navy-in
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Unless you count Dracula.
He didn't listen though.
Did you know that Gandhi used to have hot young women sleep naked in his bed with him? The idea was that he could conquer his baser desires and prove his self-control by abstaining from sex with them. I tried a similar thing by leaving half a box of Double Stuff Oreos on my counter, and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m pretty sure Gandhi banged every single one of those chicks.
Kids these days have such great manners
That’s how I roll
The man gruffly replies "no i think im fully capable of finding my own tux!" Associate says "fine. Suit yourself."
Man: AND ?
You might have dyslexia.
I am getting over it, slowly.
To look more ap-peel-ing!
Knock, knock… Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep. I warned you.
It will help you in the long run.
I can’t believe what this world is coming to.