Aw, I was looking forward to this one
…but his brother Frank was a monster.
He is over the moon with his purchase. The salesman hands him a tiny jar of Vaseline before driving off, remarking: 'Be wary that your seat is made of 100% pure bison leather. Make sure to put vaseline on the seat, should it rain, otherwise the leather might crack.' The man thanks the salesman and rides off on his new best friend. After 300 kilometres of touring fun, his bike begins to stutter and eventually breaks down. The man finds himself in the middle of nowhere and walks to the nearest farm. The farmer, who is working outside on the land, greets him and asks if he stays for dinner, awaiting the truck who'll pick up his bike for reparation. Eagerly the man agrees. Inside he meets the farmers wife and their beautiful daughter. When he walks into the kitchen, he's astounded by the biggest pile of dirty dishes he has ever seen. 'We have one dinner rule', the farmer says. 'Whoever speaks during dinner, has to do the dishes.' Dinner is served and everyone is enjoying the meal in total silence. When desert comes, the farmers daughter takes off her top, and starts frisking the man. In about two minutes they are making love, right there on the table. Nobody utters a word. After they finish, the farmers wife gets under the table, and blows the man like he's never been blown before. Right after she climbs on his lap, and rides him like a bull. Still, nobody has said a word. When she's done, the man lights a sigarette and peeks out of the window. He notices it's started drizzling outside, and remembers his bike is out in the open. He jolts up, grabs the vaseline and bolts to the front door, only to find it locked. He sprints back into the kitchen, making wild armgestures to the farmer, pointing outside, to the door and to his tiny jar of vaseline. The farmer, white with fear, then says: 'Allright allright, I'll do the dishes!'
Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian!
It goes back four seconds.
So I got it in Appleton, Wisconsin.
Pun in, ten dead.
He’s also going to see Stan Lee next week!
But they're all too basic 🙁
So I had to put my foot down
A Rogue will pick the lock. A Monk will just use their Ki.
Now he’s Aware Wolf!
After a long while they encounter a huge wall. They try to go around it, over it, but the wall is too high and too long. Out of nowhere, a genie appears. The genie sais: "You must all tell a lie in order to break this wall. The greater the lie, the greater the damage. But beware, each one of you only has one try." The men sink into deep thinking state. After hours of thinking, the Englishman begins: "Us, the english gentlemen, never drink tea with milk." The wall cracks. The American adds: "Us, the american gentlemen never smoke stogies after a hard day of work." Again, the wall cracks. Now all left up to the Scotsman, he takes a deep breath and starts: "Us, the scottish gentlemen-" The wall shatters.
Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Smelmop Smelmop Who?
Its called the Groaner virus
I guess I really am independent!
I said: "There's the door"
But I couldn’t see myself wearing any
but it was actually just 'some bees'
You give her a pound, then you give her a pound
No more jokes about the profit.
The doctor told me to take the candles off next time.
No shit Sherlock
He was so full of himself.
I have a very important job in my company. I make sure that there are enough seats when the Directors meet.
Basically, I'm the Chairman of the Board.
Makes you an eighth thiest.
So they can Scandinavian
Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
The odds were against me.
I’m an adult now, I can’t keep on calling it sleepy snoozies time.