Best meme compilation
An old painter once brought a helper along for the first time ever He said: "Do as I say; exactly as I say. And don't try anything clever" "Now go kick that baseboard over there" he shouted as he pointed "..and see that plug over there? Go ahead and pull it" "and while you're at it, cut the water, put the chisel in my bag of brushes" "put the caps on the sockets, grab me that bucket, run to the van for our lunches" So the helper Thought for a second…got deep in thought….."WHAT ARE YOU THINKIN' ABOUT!!!" the painter exclaimed, all but callin' 'im names. The helper skipped with a bounce He pulled the baseboard, cut the plug, poured water in the bag, held the chisel next to the socket for a second and said "Nope. Not doing that" The painter looked dumbfounded as the helper covered the bucket with caps scratchin' 'is head tryna remember where the lunches were at …the old painter exploded …"WHAT WAS THAT!!!!!" "YOU BETTER FIX THIS AND GET IT RIGHT!!". The helper replied: "Um. My bad" then he put water on the bucket and cut the caps pulled the bag over, like really dragged it over, kicked the brushes and gasped. "Almost forgot", the helper said as the painter started to sweat, bubblin' mad As he started to remember where the lunches were at The old painter panted, "No, no, no" he said as he started to collapse pulled his brushes out and cut his hand on the baseboard on his bag threw the chisel at the helper, but the helper slipped and ducked it, because of the caps he shook the water off and ran to the van. In the meantime, the old painter kicked the bucket; and passed.
They were already stuffed!
I told her to lighten up.
I am on day 9 of quarantine and was wondering if anyone had any porn sites they’d like to recommend other than:
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Thanks.
You probably read about him, he was in all the papers.
He let out a little wine.
I saw it with my own eyes.
and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4.
First time posting here, my grandfather's funeral was yesterday, and in honor of him I thought I would share his favourite joke of all time. My grandfather worked in advertisement, and his favourite jokes had to do with bad advertising. His favourite? Women's dresses, half off. Rest in peace grampie. You'll never be forgotten.
But I would feel guilty if anyone got it.
Turned on and in the bath tub with me
But you know what they say, old habits pulp fiction.
you throw him into the mainstream
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons." The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"
Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog seems to like her.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
She was a dish
No one knows. But the road will have his vengeance.
If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats…
They were Stalin.
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
Because they are neigh-sayers
You need a parachute to skydive twice.
Either your name is Scott or it isn’t.
I'm finally above average for something