Big boomer brain
Did you hear they changed the font of alphabet soup?
Now it is Times New Ramen
My 6 month old son has his first milk shake today.
My wife was breastfeeding him during the earthquake.
If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a day.
If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I recently broke up with my ex. She hated how bad at directions I am.
So one day, I just packed up my bags and right.
What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist
Never date a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
What do you call a man that states the obvious?
A man that states the obvious
I was going to share a joke about planes.
But I do not think it will take off.
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands…
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?" The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Sharing one of the best Facebook pages for Computer Science memes.
Hi everyone,Please visit https://ift.tt/2Kh2Yho to check out some of the funniest memes on Computer Science. Also, do share the memes you want to get posted here (with credits given of course).
I’m proud of my son, I never thought he’d go so far
The catapult worked well
A good (and very old) joke to explain why people are stocking up on necessities
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. Also, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied,"it's definitely going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy." EDIT: formatting…
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Unfortunately, Superman won’t be able to fight Dracula this evening…
He won’t go near the crypt tonight.
I saw a woman with 12 breasts the other day…
Sounds weird, dozen tit?
Until we learn, history will repeat himself until the end of time
Until we learn, history will repeat himself until the end of time
Two termites walk into a bar and ask
Is the bar tender here?
Help, Someone from Russia is trying to hack my phone
Edit: sorry, I not hacked. Mother Russia do no such thing. Have good day comrades.
I have sex with my wife almost everyday!
Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday…
My relationship with my girlfriend is quite complex.
I'm the real part.
What do you call a bee’s stinger region?
Its bee-hind!
What do you call a deaf gynecologist?
A lip reader
If someone gave you $1,000,000 to replace their fuse…
would you refuse?
I’ve never been good at scrapbooking…
…but I guess I can give it the ol' collage try.