Big Brain !
They might spike the punch.
It really means a lot to them.
I don't get it
Turns out it was a typo.
But I’m 2² to say it
The cornea the better
I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
Use a sea saw.
A polar bear
It was quite a Marvel.
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
it's a naan stick pan
When do we want them! Nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww
I’m not buying it.
I don’t do drugs.
It feels good while you're doing it, but you're only fucking yourself.
A bad joke timing
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming." "Yes I do!" "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?" "Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down." "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?" "Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down." "Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?" "Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him." "Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?" "Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage." "Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?" "Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."
Well, well, well.
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
He wanted to keep things brief.
It's my secret 'stache.
Go to the dogtor!
Good luck with that, the floor's made of lava.
It was about a week back.
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad" Wife: "No you're not…."
So she can moan with the other.
It Hertz my ears.
For hispanic attacks
And how did he get so many countries named after him?
three men named Mike, Ricky, and Randy arrive to st Peters pearly gates, they are greeted by Peter: “welcome guys, mike please come in first.” Mike walks through the gates where then a Ferrari awaits him. Peter: “Here Mike, my records show me that you have never cheated on your wife, thus you have a Farrari to drive in heaven for eternity. Now Ricky, please enter.” Ricky walks through the pearly gates where he sees a Toyota there for him. Peter: “ Hello Ricky, my records show me that you have cheated on your wife 2 times, you are now stuck with this 1998 Toyota as your car for eternity. Now Randy, come in.” Randy enters and sees a Push bike laying on the ground for him. Peter: “ Randy, I am disappointed in you, my records show you have cheated on your wife 8 times. You now can only ride your bike around for eternity. As all men have passed through the pearly gates, Randy and Ricky see Mike sitting in his Ferrari, crying his eyes out. They go up to him and say: “Mikey, what’s up why are you crying, you are sitting in a Ferrari?!” Mike answers: “g-guys… I just saw my wife roll by on a s-skateboard.
Instead he pulls out his tablet, opens the news app, and calls me old school, "tablets are the way to go nowadays' he says. Damn fly never stood a chance
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "You know if you put a piece of rubber on the end of your stick I wouldn't have to listen to that tapping." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the fucking bus.
One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there." Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
The Air Force; they're US AF