Bote good not think about woman
He finished his drink, and asked for his check. Duck billed platypus.
Kid: Why are you doing that? Dad: So you don't get bored there.
I’ve never had a beef with one.
They turnip the beets
To cover his butt quack
He goes up to the bartender and asks him if he likes to gamble. The bartender says, "Sure, I'll take a bet. What's your action?" The man offers a $50 bet that he can bite his own eyeball. The bartender, thinking it's easy money, accepts his bet, and is shocked when the man removes his glass eye and bites down on it. Laughing, the man sees that the bartender is upset about losing his money, so he offers him a chance to win it back. "Double or nothin' says I can bite my other eye." The bartender thinks it over. He knows he was just tricked out of $50 but he also knows that this man can't possibly have two glass eyes, so he pulls another $50 from the register and accepts the man's bet. The man promptly takes out his false teeth and gently closes them around his other eye. Now the bartender is visibly angry to have been had for $100, and the man's laughter isn't helping. Just before he throws him out of his bar, the man puts his hand up. "Real sorry about that, pal. I get people with that bit all the time, but you've been a good sport, so I'll give you another chance to win some cash. I've got… $500 that says if you slide a shot glass down the bar top, I can run alongside of it and piss into the glass without missing a drop. This is kinda hard for me to do, though, so I think it's fair if you give me two chances at it." The bartender, eager to win his money back from the man, thinks to himself and realizes just how hard it would be for this man to piss into a shot glass while running at full speed. Especially knowing he only has one eye to line up his shot. After a minute of deliberation, he willingly accepts the bet. The man drops his pants to his ankles and when the bartender puts the shot glass down on the counter, shouts a resounding, "Go!" prompting the bartender to slide it along the bar top. The man chases after it, holding his dick at an angle to properly aim it. However, pissing while running at full speed isn't easy, so he only manages to get a couple of drops in the glass by the time it reaches the other end. Catching his breath, the man reminds the bartender he has a second try, and that the first was simply to get his bearings straight. Once again, he shouts, "Go!" giving the bartender his cue to send the shot glass back down the bar. Once again, the man chases wildly after it, spraying piss all over the bar top, stools, floor, and even hitting some of the bottles of liquor behind the bar. However, not one drop of urine found it's way into the shot glass. Head hanging low, he hands the bartender $500, to which the bartender gleefully accepted, jumping up and down in joy and cheering in victory at the cash he had just made. All of a sudden, a man in the back of the bar slams his fist hard against his table and screams "Fuck!" at the top of his lungs. The bartender mutters aloud, "I wonder what his problem is." To which the man replies, "Oh, I just bet that guy $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar and you'd be so happy about it you jumped up and down with joy."
Because he was in the living room.
Hermione: Emma Watson?
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity
Normally i don’t go because I’m poor
3 people having sex is called a threesome Now I know why they call me handsome.
I wasn’t born until he was an adult.
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks ‘Why is the last one so cheap?’
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15. When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs. When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laugh too. When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
But I just wasn't a big fan.
Don’t know, don’t care.
A receding hare line.
There haven't been any posts all year! australia squad
I countered, “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas!?”
They fired me after taking a day off
She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights".
Click here to find out!
or maybe not.
That's a deal you can't turn down.
-Whom, sweetheart? -Dante the mailman. -Dante the mailman? But he could be your father! -But mom, age is just a number. -Sweetheart, I don't think you understood.
No text found
All of them.
I asked my friend the baker what is the key to being successful in the business and making good bread…
They said, “If your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the “telephone” he had just made from a string and two tin cans…
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I'm off to New York. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing her suitcase. "Where are you going?" she asks. "I'm coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."
It’s fully groan.
They don’t like turning their back on family
Now I have stable wifi