Bunch of clowns
Because if i wanted to disappoint two people at once, I'd visit my parents.
Man says "Once, in a Blue Moon."
So we stopped playing chess.
Dad: Yes, the Brits left.
Friend: why did you call him that, he’s not even a white horse? Mayo: [neighs]
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”. So that was nice.
He was clearly out of the loop.
My wife saw an ant picking up a leaf 5 times its body weight, and told me, “Can you imagine being that strong?”
So I picked up the leaf and said, “Yes.”
Don't know what I'm going to do in the mean time…
Can’t say that I’m surprised.
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
She’s a mathemachicken
Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back.
Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant
"Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here." "That works out because I never went to college." "Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here"
Gnorts Mr Alien 👽 (Illuminati theme song playin')
It got out of hand pretty quickly
So I told her she's pretty enough.
It shall romaine nameless.
"Will you mirror me?" She was speechless.
I decided to let the kid sleep
An iron deficiency.