But Lincoln. 🤷♂️
that motherfucker ain’t afraid to die.
You boil the hell out of it.
Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
That way it will never come for me
Because it runs in your jeans.
They pulled the sheet back to show her blond hair, blue eyes and pretty face. "I can't be certain." I said. The sheet went down to reveal her creamy white breast and perky nipples. "Sorry, I'm still not sure." They took the sheet completely off. I stared at the pale body and shaved pussy, "That's definitely not her". "Are you sure?" "Yes positive, my girlfriends black."
It was too much fizzical labor.
It means a lot to them.
On the bus today, I tapped the woman in front of me on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me, but there's some semen on your sweater." She said, "Oh, it's probably just yogurt…" I replied, "Maybe, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt."
The French man takes out a bottle of very expensive wine, has one sip, and throws it out the window. The English man says "why did you do that? " and the French man replies, "we have so many of these in my country they are practically worthless. A few minutes later the Cuban man takes out a very fancy cigar, has one puff and throws it out the window. The English man says "why did you do that? " and the Cuban man replies, "we have so many of these in my country they are practically worthless. A few minutes later, the English man throws the Indian man out the window.
Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
When the punchline becomes apparent!
Probably came after his second word.
I wish I had a pony.
So I packed up my stuff and right
Apparently 1080p Full Screen HD wasn't the right answer.
With or without "u"
You look for the fresh prints.
I told her this isn’t working out
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
That's the spirit.
Now I have a bitcoin.
Just beer i guess.
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
Cash who? No thanks, but I'll take a peanut! For allergic kids: No thanks, I'm allergic!
I just sense this looming dread.
and both of them turned out fine.
It was a Big Mcsteak
That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.