Call me a racist if you must, but south of the border is nothing but a land of corruption, violence and stupidity that I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole
I’m extremely lucky to be from Canada
Do you know 1 Comment 1 Upvote will empower your body and you will able to fly in the future
Do you know 1 Comment 1 Upvote will empower your body and you will able to fly in the future
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.
It’s just a curd to me.
I never thought my baby daughter would go this far
Well, the catapult's fantastic!
Why can you never trust trees?
Because they seem shady.
How to get rich
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad
Tap this for a little known fact!
ᴷⁿᵒʷⁿ ᶠᵃᶜᵗ
What’s the least spoken language?
Sign language.
The only thing that flat earthers have to fear…
is sphere itself
Imagine if we Americans switched from pounds to kilograms over night.
There would be mass confusion.
If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.
They'll kill your dog.
I should have listened to my grandfather…
— what did he say? — I don't know. I didn't listen.
Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I’m not joking, but he is.
What do you call a broken can opener?
Can't opener.
Why are there no Walmarts in Afghanistan?
Because they're all Targets.
Who can drink two litres of Gas?
jerry can.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2
Did you know that Diarrhea is genetic?
It runs in the jeans
CDC: “No handshakes”
Jeffrey Dahmer: shuts off blender “Aww…”
My wife yelled at me to put the toilet seat down
I can’t even remember why I was carrying it around
What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
Nothing…. it just let out a little wine.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex?
Honey I'll be home in 20 minutes.
I asked my welsh friend how many sexual partners he’s had
He started counting but fell asleep.
