Can any Memeology grads help me out
The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 160 days, proving the country does not belong to China.
Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.
For christ’s sake
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
Me: I wish I was a star. Gen⭐e: We⭐rd but okay.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I'll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Bartender: $3 Me: There you go. So, what's the wifi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
He said he wouldn’t do it. Cause it would take a cent-ury.
The class had just scratched the surface!
We're good but we still haven't gotten a gig yet.
If you do it you'll see why.
One's Chinese take out, the other takes out Chinese.
"You're going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket" But, officer, I didn't catch these — they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done they jump back into the bucket. "Oh really? This I've got to see. If you can prove it, I'll let you go." The fisherman empties the bucket into the lake and waits patiently. A few minutes go by and nothing happens. Game warden: So where are the fish? Fisherman: What fish?
but I’m more of a ceiling fan
Polish Border Control Officer: "Nationality?" German: "German" Polish Boder Control Officer: "Occupation?" German: "No, just visiting"
ME: Through the glass bit
Miss by few inches and you’re in deep shit.
I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.
It was a family album
The odds were against me
Because noble gasses don’t cause a reaction
Because they cantaloupe. Courtesy of me sick and loopy at the grocery store.
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Those who understand binary and those who don't.
You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift.
Me: Dinner is served as soon as you dress the salad. Wife: What are you thinking? Me: Business casual.
The first dog, a big dog, walks to the bar and asks for 3 frothy beers. The barman is stunned and exclaims "What!? A talking dog! I can't believe it!" The dog sighs. "I get this all the time! I'm a talking dog. Whoopty doo. My name is Huey and I do regular dog things. I chase cars, drag my arse on the carpet, eat bones and fuck old socks." He takes the beers and returns to his seat. 15 minutes later the second dog, an even bigger dog, approaches the bar and orders 3 frothy beers. "You're kidding me! Another talking dog!?". The dog sighs. "I get this all the time! I'm a talking dog. Whoopty doo. My name is Duey and I do regular dog things. I chase cars, drag my arse on the carpet, eat bones and fuck old socks." He takes the beers and returns to his seat. 15 minutes later the third dog approaches the bar. The barman excitedly asks "Let me guess, your name is Luey and you do regular dog things too?" "No." the dog replied, "My name is Socks and I've had a terrible day .. just get the fucking beers."