Can this go deeper
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
I said "Honey, it's not what it looks like!"
I have no idea why he wants an ex box.
It scares the shit out of the dog.
Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis. The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?" The Jamaican replied, "No, Mr. that says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day".
People say I'm mentally eel.
Turns out they meet tomorrow.
If they groan, I say, “I think I took this joke too far.”
Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. There was dead silence… the rest of the year went quite smoothly.
There was nothing left but de Brie.
When little Timmy went to school and mastered one to nine, he thought the other kids were cool and every class Devine. He painted shapes red and blue and he drew in curves and bends. And when the day was over he made 100 friends! I’m Pals with Pete Mike and Max he told his pa with pride, but Timmy’s folks were anti-vaxx and then he fucking died.
Neil arms weak. Neil joins gym. Neil does chin-ups. Neil Armstrong 2. William making fruit shake. William took pears. William put them in glass. William Shakespeare 3. Jimmy goes to restaurant. Jimmy sits down. Jimmy gets food. Jimmy Choo 4. Tony makes movie. Tony works hard. Tony earns fans. Tony Star k 5. Alan feels happy. Alan runs hard. Alan falls in gutter. Alan Reekman (Rickman) 6. Usain s*** scared. Usain screams. Usain close doors. Usain Bolt.
But alas John came fifth, so he won the toaster.
But does anyone know where the Minneapolis?
Stamp – licky-sticky Defibrillator – hearty-starty Bumble bee – fuzzy-buzzy Fork – stabby-grabby Socks – feety-heaties Nightmare – screamy-dreamy Tennis racket – stringy-swingy Cactus – pricky-sticky Squid – squishy-fishy Horror film – thrashy-slashy Whisky – stinky-drinky Wasp – stingy-wingy Parrot – wordie-birdie Auto-correct – writey-righty Lifejacket – boaty-coaty
I wish I could post it in another subreddit
There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married. "If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the priest. One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the priest. He then asks the elderly couple, "Have you completed the month with sex?" "Yes we have, it was easy," replies the elderly couple. "How about you?" He asks the middle-aged couple. "It was hard, but we didn't have sex for the whole month," they respond. "And how about you two?" He asks the young couple. "No we couldn't do it," responds the boyfriend. "Tell me why," says the priest. "Well my girlfriend had a can of corn in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that's when it happened." The priest then tells them, "You're not welcome in my church." "We're not welcome in the supermarket either," says the boyfriend
She asked, “If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?” I took off my condom, tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet. “Well” I said, “If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini”.
I replied, "Yes of course, that'd be 20 cows."
On his second day he'll legalize it everywhere else.
Some asshole must have my pen.
Police looking for hardened criminals.
None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
I wonder what she's up to now?
Fine. Suture self.
Turned out she was seeing someone else on the side.
Dad: No. You’re grounded. Son: No fair! Dad: That’s exactly what I said.
Dress as a professor. They barely cover anything important.
What do you call a cow that’s fallen asleep at a construction site? A bulldozer.
She said yes, so I ran my finger across her lip and that's how the fight started.