Caption doesn’t fit with meme
That's their words, not mine.
I guess that's why my mum throws me a birthday party every year
Because they come with their own scales.
Excuse me, doctor – my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he please?
ICU baby, shaking that ass
My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping…
…with a really angry bear somewhere close by.
But “Shatner Panties” was not a good business.
Because once they had a fight and 71.
It was fake noose
A broken drum Nothing can beat it!
When he would look perfectly natural dressed as an orange.
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu: "Cheeseburgers: $5 Fries: $3 Handjobs: $10." He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" "Yes, I am," she replies seductively. "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
I hope it doesn't terrace apart.
Says he has always been able to count on them.
and then it dawned on me
or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
It was called Diffi cult.
Because the previous kid was Ben Nine in comparison.
You don’t want to be carrying the same shit into the new decade
So he goes up to the captain and asks "What do you guys use when you get horny?" The captain says: "There's a barrel over there with a hole in it; we use that". Guy: "Great when can I use it?" Captain: "You can use it any day of the week, except Tuesday". Guy: "Why not Tuesday?" The captain grinned and said: "Cause that's your day in the barrel."
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
I said i paid for it, it IS my cheese.
The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."
He said yeah but it’s rare.
I’m proud to say I’m officially clean!
It's a small-price toupee.