In case I get a hole in one…
"Hello yes my Wife is going into labour!" "Is this her first child?" "No this is her husband"
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
My wife said I did a half ass job applying sunscreen
They were cooked in Greece.
Now it’s worth $875,000
You: Who? Me: Reese You: Witherspoon? Me : Nah, with a knife
A gummy bear
I just don't see it myself