What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Son: “Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”
“Yes, we arson.”
I hate Russian dolls.
They're so full of themselves.
Have you ever tried eating a clock?
It's really time consuming. Especially if you go for seconds.
On Father’s Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.
He said it was his pleasure.
Who here believes in telekinesis?
Raise my hand. (Celebrating my first Father’s Day as a dad with my first post in this sub!)
I broke 2 fingers on my right hand today
On the other hand everything is OK. Happy Fathers Day everybody
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.
He dyed on impact.