This is a reference to the Descartes quote "I think, therefore I am." But if I had explained that earlier, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
3 people having sex is called a threesome Now I know why they call me handsome.
…but I'm slowly getting over them.
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
Dad to be:"Actually, we'd like him to keep his liver"
But part of me feels justified because one would have been enough
They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.
A neigh-sayer. 😛
I wonder what kind of birds they will grow into.
What is the difference between soon-to-be parents that want a girl and liquid that’s been used to clean plates?
One's dishwater… The other's wish daughter
…is only one sea away from Ireland?
By using remorse code.
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!" The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby." He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"
I asked him what on earth he was doing in there. All he said was, "I cum in peas."
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second Catholic women chirps, "Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Grace." The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence." The fourth Catholic women sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle "Well…?" She replies, "My son is a charismatic, 6'2", hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "My God."
Son: Dad which one of us do you love more? Father: My love for you is like communism. Daughter: So equally? Father: No, it collapsed 30 years ago.
The cornea the better
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.
They kill dogs
If I’m being objective, it is Dr. Whom.
Nuts and bolts
…makes the game Monopoly.