Sometimes it hurts and most women can't handle it.
Sounds weird, dozen tit?
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence
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The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied: "I figured if you 3 weren't ordering beer it would be rude for me to."
We had our ups and downs but I'll still miss it
An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."
Because of the vacuum
Yes, we arson
"No, I'm not. And stop calling me Ted!"
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia
They're… hill areas.
Boss: There’s no such thing as a problem. There are only opportunities. Man: Oh ok. Then I have a serious drug opportunity.
He was decomposing.
it’s the women that make it hard
She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical. Then I saw her place…
The bartender says "Hey!" Then the horse replies "Sounds good!"
Or do you have to spread them apart?
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
but geography is where it’s at!!
Italian man: Why? Judge: It's a fine. Italian man: (quietly) It's a not…
Because they lactose.
Because he has green thumbs
Because they're really good at it.
He didn't think he would win, but he just wanted to check.
So now it's just Minnea City