Because they hate Tibet
EDIT: tools …stupid keyboard…
it was groundbreaking
Now I’m sitting on the toilet with a massive vowel movement….
A loud knocking on the door wakes a man and his wife in the middle of a stormy night. The man opens the door to a stranger, who asks him for a push. "No way!" says the husband, slamming the door shut in the stranger's face. "Who was that?" calls his wife. "Just some drunk asking for a push", he answers, "it's 3 am and pouring heavily out there!" " You should be ashamed", his wife replies, "don't you remember that time when we broke down and those two guys helped us out? You should go and help him." Sighing, the man pulls on his coat and heads out into the pouring rain. "Hello? " He calls out in the dark. "Do you still need a push?" "Yes, please", comes the reply. "Where are you?" the husband calls out. "Over here", the drunk replies, "On the swing".
I haven’t heard from him since
It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe
WHERE’S MY OTHER FUCKING HAND?
Because you can't C in the dark.
That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
They’re all backstabbers
He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes. So he calles emergency services and says "I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?" "Well," the operator said, "Are they moving?" "I don't know," he said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I wasn't untill I got home I realised that I picked 7-up
Seriously! Who starts a conversation like that?
No text found
I was pissing on the side of the road when suddenly an American girl walks by. She saw my penis and shouted "GROSS!" I shouted back "DANKE!"
One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear.
Never mind, you won’t get it.
I'll let you know.
"€1.50 for a coffee? €3.75 for a miserable ham sandwich?" Honestly, he was moaning about it all afternoon. That´s the last time I invite him over to my house.
I mean, first I win the lottery and now this
It couldn't handle the bars.
You may think it's R But his first love be the C
I learned next to nothing.
So they can let me down one last time.
Two men are roommates in a hospital. Because they are both weak from sickness, the men are unable to speak for weeks.
Finally, one man says to the other, “American.” His roommate replies, “Canadian.” Another week goes by and the first man says weakly, “Danny.” The roommate can only reply, “Phil.” Another week passes and the first man mutters to his roommate, “Cancer.” His roommate replies back, “Virgo.”
But the judge didn't see it that way.
I think I'm being stalked
It was on its last legs.
“No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”
but turn out, it was nothing more than just my imagine asian.
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
Something inside me says yes.
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies. The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!" The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?" "We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger. The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.