Come on, why you gotta do this to my nation’s flag?
But I keep punching up the fuck line.
The blacks and the jews
His name was Sir Gay
It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
They’re soft drinks.
It was a risk I was willing to take.
Boss: There’s no such thing as a problem. There are only opportunities. Man: Oh ok. Then I have a serious drug opportunity.
Then fat babies must be delivered by a crane.
I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
The deep web
Because without them their tits would be pointless.
I said "It's growing on me."
Because you're a fucking joke.
If you're one of those people, don't worry.
Bandersnatch. I'm sorry.
Often, she's a hoe.
Because if i wanted to disappoint two people at once, I'd visit my parents.
All the sines were there.
I hate prison.
The police have been working tirelessly to catch him
There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked.
He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was. She responded,"My washcloth." Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital, the doctor shaved her pubic hair. The boy asked his mother, "What happened to your washcloth?" His mother replied, "I lost it." The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his mother's washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running to his mother yelling and screaming, "Mommy, I found your washcloth, I found your washcloth!" His mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?" The boy replied, "The maid has it and is washing daddy's face with it." *This was actually a copypasta taken from an eighth grade English workbook assigned by a private school in Shanghai. The kids were told to read the joke and write a review of it. The parents were, obv, not pleased when they saw the material.
A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber runs out and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay and the surgeon decides to leave the bullets where they are as it is too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong," asks the mother. "Well, mum, I was having a wee and this bullet came out," replies the daughter. The mother tells her it is okay and explains what happened 16 years before. About a week later the second daughter walks into the room in tears. "Mum, I was having a wee and this bullet came out." The mother tells her what happened 16 years before and tells her not to worry. Another week passes by and the son walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mother, "I know what has happened, you were having a wee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was having a w*nk and I've shot the dog."
He concludes by saying: ‘‘Yesterday, 300 Brazilians died of COVID.’’ ‘‘Oh no!’’ President Trump exclaims. ‘‘That’s terrible!’’ His staff are stunned at this uncharacteristic display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, Trump looks up and asks: ‘‘How many is a brazillion?’’
His grades were below C level.
From a well, actually.
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day..
The leaning tower of pisa
It's finger licking good