Comedic masterpiece found on Facebook
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it??" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars… I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it??"
I tried to go last night, but they were clothed.
No text found
But graphing is where I draw the line
It’s the hidden charges you have to watch out for.
Tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold. Edit: ARRRR! Me farst gold! Much love me matey!
He ate it before it was cool. 🤦🏻♂️
The barista told me it was fresh ground.
They both go broom broom
He gets hammered.
DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
But I'm a procrastinator, so I picked up smoking.
Lets look at the board and I'll go through it again….
He said, "When I am about to take a shot, it's like magic, I can just see the line where I need to shoot." Then he threw a dart and got a bullseye on the first throw and I asked how he could aim the dart so well. He said, "When I am about to throw a dart, it's like magic, I can just see the line where I need to throw it." Later, he got in a fight with another guy at the bar. He threw a punch and missed badly. I asked how he could throw such a poorly aimed punch. He said, "There is no punch line."
Because Thats The Only Way He Can Hear Me
They are too "over the top."
…before it cinq. "Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence. "Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres. "One," radioed the British ship before it went two. "Won," radioed the American sub.
It's like they didn't carrot all.
She said, “Thanks dad, that means a great deal.”
I have a hunch it might be me.
Seriously, how low can you go?
Three statisticians go deer hunting. After some time passes, they come upon a buck. The first shoots at it and misses by 30 yards to the right. The second takes a shot and misses by 30 yards to the left. The third jumps up and yells, “We got him! We got him!“
A father in law
but I partied like it's $19.99.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
Bartender says "Three feet tall." Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
Because they can't see shit.
A Four-chin teller.