Considering this was on r/theyknew, I don’t think the extra images were needed
My chemistry teacher asked me :
Teacher: What’s the monomer of rubber? Me: Is it monobber?
I went swimming today and took a pee in the deep end
The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud, I almost fell in
A British doctor says: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job.”…
…The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job." The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"
My wife told me: “Sex is better on holiday.”
That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.
My wife says I’m the cheapest man in the world.
I'm not buying it.
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.
I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the kids.
My wife said I’m the cheapest person she ever met
I'm not buying it
Where is EA Sports headquarters located?
It’s in the game.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon Fresh.
I’ll let you know.
Why did the man take his Toyota to the ER?
It had Corolla virus
Out here in Virginia protecting my potatoes just like President Trump said 🥔🥔🥔
https://ift.tt/2XkWCUf
My wife told me, “Don’t get upset if someone calls you fat.”
“You’re much bigger than that.”
My girlfriend gave me a list of things she’d like to do for her 32nd birthday
I told her there's no way we could do all that in 30 seconds.
Genie: You have three wishes. Me: Nice! I wish for pie.
Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.
“Won’t you kiss me, doctor”, asks a beautiful woman.
"No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please, just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."
I get aroused when I erase pencil drawings
In fact, I think I'm gonna rub one out
Which one is tougher intellectual demandwise, Physics or Medicine ?
Medicine is well respected among general public. Physics is also regarded highly by many people.But i want to know, among both these subjects/discipines , which is tougher from the point of view of intellectual demand/ intelligence required to study ?
I bumped into an old school friend today.
He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend." He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said, "No, she's a fucking optician.”
Nothing beats a beautiful girl with an amazing voice…
Except Chris Brown
My wife asked me “Where’d you learn to make ice cream so well?”
Me: “Sundae School.”
Where did the hacker go?
I don't know, he ransomware
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
A tractor.
Why did the doctor get angry ?
Because he lost his patients .
Everyone knows it’s not socialism if you’re subsidizing people who own for a living.
https://ift.tt/2WfSFRV
The only time incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
Credit my uncle, who is an uncle joking but not making uncle jokes. A dad-joker but not my dad.
What sound does a 747 airplane make when it bounces?
Boeing, Boeing, Boeing
The creator of Star Trek was renowned for emptying his bowels in obscure places.
He would boldly go where no man had gone before.
Wikipedia says there are only 2 atms in Antarctica.
But you shouldn't use them unless you want your assets frozen.
The other day a friend of mine told me a really bad gravity joke.
I still fell for it though