He said only thyme would tell.
It’s not hard
You live like this?
…does it still count as a shock?
Apparently they have a patent on expensive stuff for arseholes
One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers. They traveled to a Hydra base surrounded by four barriers. When they got to the first barrier, Hulk smashed it. When they got to the second barrier, Tony Stark fired up his Iron Man suit and blasted a hole through it. When they got to the third barrier, Thor took out Mjolnir and bopped a hole in it. Then they got to the fourth wall, and Deadpool said, "Am I supposed to be the punchline to this joke?"
I was like: What the Hellman
You have my Word
One has claws at the end of the paws… The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
I just want to make myself clear.
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years…
…but they're having a really hard time putting their case together…
Yes, we arson.
Because a Jewish woman won’t touch anything unless it’s 20% off.
I did that but now I don’t know what to do with the letters
They only had one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Make America grate again!
It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had
Never mind, you probably won't get it.
Oh, so your dad was a billionaire? No, he also wished he were.
When my dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while…
Then I remembered… Me and my wife have different dentists…
They will kill your dog
I never get a straight answer.
and not “buzzkills”?