Coronavirus squad roll deep
They only do their jobs after they are fired
They all have their faults.
Its not hard
An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
she kept you
You can see right through 'em.
I woke up exhausted
Because the root of their negativity is imaginary.
Wife calls her mother in-law and asks her “If your baby puked and pooped, who should it clean it up?” Mother in-law yells “the mother!”
Wife – "Then come clean up your drunk son!"
A small medium at large
I was staring at her boobs when she said “would you please press one?” So I did.
I don’t think I can ever repay you
I was at the library today when a black guy came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were.
I replied, "Dude, it's 2019, you can use whatever printer you want."
…how limited my vocabulary is.
My to doo list
Must have a hard time sneaking out to the pub without the wife noticing.
They checked the reviews……………. only one star.
They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
They’ve left no tern unstoned
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple 😀
held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers.
A cactus keeps the little pricks on the outside.
Leave me the Fu Cologne.
So now I shower before every meal.
They both are in the middle of water