But most have 4
I don't know why
and I thought to myself, "Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a terrible driver."
because I get sick no matter when I eat them.
So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she’s sangria then ever…
My buddy asked if he could crash on my couch tonight. I had to explain to him that I was married now…
…and that's where I sleep.
He got pissed at me because he was trying to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.
I was shocked
I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road…
…well, that's how I was taught Roman numerals in school.
He didn't make the cut.
It's a beautiful and very thoughtful experience, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
The rest of the letters come aughter it.
You could view the cross on the cover of the Holy Bible as a big time spoiler….
With great powder comes great responsability
She discriminates against other cultures.
So far I've got 12 fridges
It's a crow chez crochet.
Suddenly, the bar is as silent as a grave. A guy next to the blind man leans over and whispers "Dude, be carefull. The barkeeper is blonde and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also blonde and the reigning box champion of the city. And then there is Joe… he's just released from prison after he broke a dude's jaw and his two arms. He is blond too. Are you sure you wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind man takes a minute to think about that, turns on his barchair and says "OK, FINE… I won't tell the joke… I don't have the time to explain that joke at least three times."
They’re better than regular plane crashes, because there’s no loss of life. If you’re flying an rc plane, you never had a life to begin with.
I’M NOT UPSET, BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.
Always walking around like they rent the place.
Turns out I am a cunt & she does want me to fuck off
In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved. I will give 50,000 pounds to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now 100,000 pounds to the fire station who could bring out the company's secret files. But still the fire fighters could not get through. From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby rural township volunteer fire brigade, composed mainly of old men over 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to 200,000 pounds and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters. The local TV station caught the thank you on film and asked the chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?" "Well," said Paddy, the 70-year-old fire chief, "the first thing we're gonna do is fix the brakes on that bloody fire truck."