Damn girl are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every fucking day.
I’m not joking, but he is.
On the other hand, everything is OK.
More on this after the break.
and it hertz alot.
Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!
You make them VERY ANGRY.
He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist
Husband: Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad. Wife: No you're not.
Other words I found much harder
He asks the bartender, "What's this 'test' you have?" The bartender says, "Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequila. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who's never slept with a man, and you gotta go make things right with her." Laughing, the man exclaims, "Well that sounds like the stupidest test I've ever heard of!" He leaves to get drunk with his friends. Later that night, the man comes back to the bartender absolutely hammered drunk. "Ok bartender! Let's do this test!" He says. The bartender hands him a gallon of pepper tequila, and before he could warn him, the man starts chugging it. Teary eyed and near the point of fainting, the man finishes the gallon and slams it on the counter. Stunned, the bartender leads him out back to the alligator. A few minutes pass, and after some screaming and clatter, the man stumbles back in. His shirt is torn up and his body is bleeding profusely. He stares at the bartender and says, "Ok bartender, where's the girl with the sore tooth?"
A spare, I guess
And that's a stereo type.
28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands
Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.
For my black jeep…
I will find you. YOU HAVE MY WORD!
Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
It was really bad to begin with, but by the end I quite liked it.
Two English tourists were driving through Wales.At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch they asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument.Can you pronounce where we are,very,very,slowly?”
The girl leaned over and said: “Burrr… gurrr… King.”
The mother smiles a replies: "Once upon a time, me and your daddy had a wonderful time so we decided to plant a little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took very good care of it every single day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, the seed turned into a beautiful and healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and then we got so high that we fucked without a condom."
A kiss will make your day, but anal will make your hole weak.
I hardly know her!
Cause he has little legs!
Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.
She responds: “see that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.” The kid replies: “but mom, I’m blind!” Mom: “Exactly.”
Then I’ll see what happens
Car roof: slaps Isaac Newton
Tenor twelve feet away from her and all musical instruments at all times.
…it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.