Damn millennials with their computers!
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 93,934 matches.
I tell my wife I’m close to 60,000 Karma on my Reddit, and she says the only Karma I need in my life is her..
I reminded her Karma's a Bitch..
It's like he blew up overnight.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Hey old fellas of boomer. It would be great if y’all take some time to fill out this quick survey I’m conducting for my uni assignment. Try to make your answers long pleaseeehttps://ift.tt/3ayaejr
I said: "There's the door."
It's a vicious cycle…
A dad joke. How did I do?
Alpacastan! …I'm not sorry.
A wife asks her husband, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?” “No” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a silky bra, and pulled out a crumpled twenty-dollar bill. He took the crumpled twenty-dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly. She then asked him "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?" "Uh… no, I haven't" he said, with an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her panties… and pulled out a crumpled fifty-dollar bill. He took the crumpled fifty-dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. Then she said "Have you ever seen $75,000 dollars all crumpled up?" "No!" he said… trying hard now to hide his anticipation. She said "Might want to check the garage".
It's going to be a play on words.
6:30. Hands down.
The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!" The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.
Because he never had to run for his office
It’s always the centre of a tension.
It runs in your jeans.
But hey, it puts food on the table.
No text found
At ten feet I told the the joke and everyone laughed. At twenty feet, same result. At fifty feet no one heard me…
Guess I went a little too far with that joke.
Your Pupils. They dilate.
I haven’t heard from him since.
That would be one stone, gold motherfucker
Thanks daylight savings!
And that's just the first guy.