Damn welfare leeches
I couldn't put my finger on it….
One turns to the other and says “you take all those cows over there and round them up into one big group” The other says “what?” The first cowboy says “you herd”
is technically, not a question
A pigment of your imagination
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
it was groundbreaking
The host asks him, "And what are you?" The guy says, " I'm a snail." The host says "And who's that on your back?" "That's Michelle!"…
Between you and me, something smells.
That guy really put the douche in fiduciary responsibility.
But one look and I realised it was a small price toupee.
Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.
"BOOM" I hope that blew your minds
The second time let me down
When I saw my neighbour I asked, "Excuse me sir, is this yours?" The ignorant bastard just ignored me.
Because he conditioned it.
She wanted to speak to the task manager.
Ensures that you end up in the cast…
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
She said: "Thanks dad, that means a great deal."
I met this sexy girl in a club tonight and told her she reminded me of my little toe. Giggling, she asked, “Why?! Is it because I’m small and cute!?”
"No…" I said. "It's because later, I'm gonna bang you hard on my coffee table."
1.) Your time with them Is brief so treasure it. 2.) They LOVE chocolate.
denim denim denim
unfortunately, I mist.
He comes from a LAN down under
B: "If I die, will you find a new boyfriend?" G: "NOOO! I'll never be with another guy, I'll rather go and stay with my sister! What would you do if I die?" B: "I would also stay with your sister"
Well sir, do you have any lumber jacking experience? Yes. I was part of an elite team of lumberjacks who worked on the largest lumberjacking project ever for nearly 3 years. Oh. You don't say? Where exactly was it you worked? The Sahara Forest in Africa, Sir. The Sahara Forest? Don't you mean the Sahara desert? Well sure, that's what they call it now.
He's got 2020 vision.