Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers. The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)" Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!) The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own. "Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance)."
Kid: WOW are you a magician? Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve
They are both way bigger than me and there are two of them. It's not fair.
She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!
One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!
But I don't think there's an end to it.
One is really heavy…and the other…is a little lighter.
Me: Is it contagious? Doctor: Is what contagious?
Always joking around instead of fixing those damn computers.
Because he wasn't born yesterday
A man who runs behind gets exhausted.
I think she’s planning to watch the highlights later.
But when i got out of prison, it was totally worth it
Could the r/dankmemes reddit be banning non europeans just as a dank meme?
Woke up exhausted.
It becomes theiranium.
An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don’t belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: “I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I’ll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield”.
The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once – the shield cracks; twice – the shield falls apart; thrice – the American is no more. Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once – nothing; twice – the Indian shivers a bit; thrice – the Indian grunts, but lives. The Devil is amazed and tells him he's free to go. The Indian asks "May I stay and watch? In all jokes the Russians somehow come out on top. I want to see how he will do it this time". The Devil nods and turns to the Russian: "So, what will you use as a shield?" The Russian: "The Indian, of course".