Because he did not want to be spotted
The doctor says it’s terminal
The distributive property.
You take away its broom.
With or without "u"
I guess you could call me an Entrée-preneur
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?" After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front. "One dollar!" she said. The teacher, conflicted on why the girl can't add, explained to her and the whole class how adding 1+5 works. At the end of class, the students were dismissed. A staff member oversaw the whole thing, and approached the teacher. "What the hell were you thinking asking that type of question?" the staff member asked. "What? I just asked them how much money 1+5 is- They couldn't even answer it!" "You said their parents gave them five dollars." "Yeah, so?" "You work at an orphanage, you moron!"
She told me, "Probably just some yogurt." Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt.
Because their horns don’t work. (I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)
Quick, everyone get out, this is NOT a drill!
Yeah. It really came out of the purple.
The wife asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?" Helen: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said that?" Helen: "Your husband." Wife: "Oh." Helen: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Wife: "Who said that?" Helen: "Your husband." Wife: "Oh." Helen: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you." Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?" Helen: "No, the gardener did." Wife: "So, how much do you want?"
"Is this good for wasps?" he asked the assistant. "No, it kills them."
but since I stopped shaving this beard has been growing on me.
John came fifth and won a toaster.
You have $400, your daughter text she needs $200, and your son text he needs $150. How much do you have left?
Me: $400 and 2 unread messages.
It’s a total rip-off
Now he's living in a flat
So I can legit ride a unicycle. My mom told me it was a waste of time and would never get me anywhere in life….
I said “no mom! Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way!”
Cause it’s not gonna kill itself.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
with a sea-saw
No text found
He’ll be born in March.
Dad: I know, it’s because I use both of my nostrils
…because he is a small arms dealer!
It was a piece of cake 🍰!!! 😂
I'll call it instagram
Because one more and they would get too farty